365 Days of Metal: WTF Wednesday, Structural Collapse

Day 71

Structures - Divided By

Band Origin: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Genre: Metalcore / Progressive

Label: Sumerian Records

Running Time: 33 minutes

Release Date: October 24, 2011

Best Worst Part: The part where my headphones exploded (not literally), 45 seconds into the record.

Favorite Tracks: Encounter..., Clockwork, In Pursuit Of, and /

Grade: 2

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Divided By in 20ish words or less:

Their self released EP was heavy as fuck, technical and memorable for all the right reasons. Divided By is memorable - but for all the wrong reasons.

The Band:

Structures is a five piece metal band from Toronto who provide high-energy and heavy as fuck performances with their blend of hardcore and progressive metal. After self-releasing a highly memorable EP in early 2010, touring excessively and garnering a strong following in both the Canadian music scene and abroad, the band was eventually signed on to Sumerian Records in June of 2011, leading to the announcement of the release of their future debut record to come in the fall.

Structures previous release was their EP All of the Above which was released April 6, 2010.

Jay's Take on Divided By: 

Structures EP All of the Above was a great self-released effort when I first got my hands on it - and also got to witness the performance live, on more than one occasion. I had reasonably good expectations for Divided By as the band had managed to do a good job of impressing me in the past, which is why I feel equally torn by what's coming next. I'll get one thing out of the way, Structures are great live performers and clearly have talent - the album does feature some good grooves and composition work but the problem is it gets jumbled in the loudness of the album. The end result is an album with a high level of potential, that instead sounds like a fuzzy, overamplified mess. 

For a great rundown on the primary gripe that many people have with Divided By, I encourage you to read the article JR posted on Heavy Blog is Heavy on October 25th, on the topic of Structures new album. I read this the day it landed on the page and it honestly didn't give me a good feeling going forward towards my eventual first run of the album, which I only got around to purchasing after my long Halloween/Graduation weekend.

Sumerian are known for generally having a generally high level of production quality with their records, just take any of their more recent releases as examples: e.g. Betraying The Martyrs, Born of Osiris, or even something from last year Veil of Maya's [id]. There has been no problem in the past with heavy bands losing any points in the production quality department - Divided By is the odd man out. The album is unbearably loud during its heaviest moments, with breakdowns and bass drops sounding as if they came from the cutting room floor of tracking a brutal deathcore album. I've listened through the album four to five times, but listening to it in one sitting with headphones is a chore, especially without readjusting the volume and equalizer just to make sure I don't blow my own head off. 

I have to agree wholeheartedly with JR on this one - Divided By sounds terrible and is definitely the worst produced album I've heard from this year - which is a damned shame.

Sample of the Day:

Here's the re-recorded album version of the track In Pursuit Of which was on All of the Above. Be warned, the final minute pushes the limits of overamplified fuzziness. And below, the self-released EP version of the same track. Judge for yourselves.







- J

365 Days of Metal: WTF Wednesdays, the Worst Day of the Week

Day 10

Abandon All Ships - Abandon All Ships

Band Origin: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Genre: Bad - is Bad a genre? It is now.
Label: Universal Music
Running Time: 17 painful minutes
Release Date: July 17, 2009

Best Worst Part: I've had to endure this, live.

Favorite Tracks: /facepalm

Grade: 0

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Abandon All Ships in 20 words or less:

Auto-tune core - if that's not enough, then you're SOL.

The Band:

Abandon All Ships is a five member group who seriously make me feel bad for being Canadian. Their bread and butter is a fusion of trance, electronica and hardcore which is just plain gaudy. To make things worse, they use auto-tune on their vocals and are the first band I have ever classified as being a Musical Abortion.

Abandon All Ships also actually released a full length entitled Geeving in 2010, which I can't fathom ever listening to - ever.

Jay's Take on Abandon All Ships:

To be honest I couldn't even get through the first track on this record when I decided to actually give it a chance. I was unfortunate enough to have to see these guys open for an actual good lineup of bands in Ottawa once, and felt like my ears got assaulted. I mean even the breakdown at the end of the sample below is god awful and about as generic as you can get.

This is by far the worst thing that will ever show up on 365 Days of Metal.

Sample of the Day:

I cannot be held accountable for the suckage before. I would advise you not to listen to this - ever.



- J

Rapture: Apocalypse Not

Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? Oh wait - wrong Rapture. Sorry Andrew Ryan.

Well it's been a long time since I posted anything, as I've been pretty busy taking care of some future specific goals. I'll have some free time and a hankering to get back in business in the coming weeks though, but I just couldn't let this go.

California Radio evangelist Harold Camping first predicted the End of Days back in 1994, and most recently changed his prediction to localize the Apocalypse in 2011.

First the Rapture was supposed to take place on May 21, 2011 (that's today, if you're keeping tabs), followed by earthquakes across the world beginning at 6PM. And then to just add insult to injury, he predicted the actual end of the world would take place about five months later, on October 21.

Harold's original prediction stated earthquakes would rock Jerusalem at 6PM, well 6PM has come and gone and well... *crickets*

Yup. Nothing. Sad part is I know people who actually bought into the thought of the Rapture going down today.

But good old Harold was never very specific after all, time is pretty relative. Maybe he meant shit was going to hit the fan at around 6PM Pacific Time, considering he's from California.

I'll just keep my fingers crossed. After all, I was really looking forward to some gratuitous Judgement.

- J

P.S. - Opening quote is from Bioshock, for anyone not in the know.

Adios: Lex Luthor Has Left the Building

Yesterday the mayoral elections for Ottawa took place and the end result was in a word (or two), pretty obvious.

Jim Watson walked away the new Mayor-elect, along with 23 city councillors, 10 of which are freshmen to the city council.

But as one of my friends put it, the most interesting part of all of this is that Lex Luthor is no longer the Mayor of Ottawa.

So congrats Jim, and bon voyage Larry.

I would say you'll be missed, but then I'd just be a big fat liar now wouldn't I.

P.S. - It's been brought to my attention that I haven't been posting enough lately (except about Hockey, which apparently angers everyone). There's new content to come in the next few days, including some album reviews, a potential rant and something to do with the word Derp.

Turkey Day: Gobble Gobble

In honor of the decimation of the world wide turkey population that is in progress, I would like to wish everyone a happy Turkey Day weekend.

A time to give thanks for - well, ridiculously ginormous home cooked meals that are filled with awesomeness. 

Here's to a week of leftovers and to remembering why you only have it twice a year: because you know you find turkey way to dry to eat more than two days in succession.

Even if it does sometimes come in delicious sandwich form.

Canned Chicken: The Other White Meat

The sheer amount of ridiculousness amounting from my ridiculously long days, each week, is beginning to reach excessive levels of ridiculous. But TGIF!

Thursdays are the final night in my string of super happy fun-time days that kick off my week. Usually my order of business is working from 9AM to anywhere before 7PM and then proceeding with my last class of the week from 7-10PM.

This week however I got to bolt out of said class early, following a quick group meeting and was able to mosey along - even in the rain, I still moseyed - to my next destination.

Rather than that being directly towards the location in which I find myself sleeping on a floor every Thursday night, it turned out to be Yuk Yuk's. Last night happened to be the birthday shindig of one of the owners of the floor I find myself sleeping on at least once a week.

The rest of my night consisted of a decent half of a stand-up lineup, a walk across town in the rain, funny stories, funnier people, Strongbow and some pretty badass cake.

One of the running gags of the evening involved someone's love affair with canned chicken - and someone else's displeasure of said canned chicken. Mainly with the fact that it smells like tuna when opened. Last night however I got to hear both sides of the story, whereas Wednesday I only got the flip side of the coin. The ensuing defense of what I now call "The Other White Meat", was pretty damned hilarious. But I have to give canned chicken the benefit of the doubt - at least for now.

Moral of the story: Someone is going to remind me to buy someone some fresh chicken to cook on a Thursday night in the near future.

The words Battlestar Galactica came up about 50,000 times as well last night, mainly because Caprica is about to start back up in two weeks. As people began to disperse for the evening we started to bust out some tunes, including the soundtracks from BSG. Anyone who has seen BSG knows Bear Mcreary's cover of All Along the Watchtower.

Well, I should say everyone except for one person last night, who had never even heard the cover by Jimi Hendrix, nor the original by Bob Dylan. Crazyness right? I know.

Needless to say this began the first of what most likely will become a series of musical education courses by yours truly. And inadvertent exposure to extreme genres like Grindcore, because band names with Bears involved tend to cause curiosity.

On top of prepping for my classes, exams and assignments next week, I now also have to come up with a course plan and listening material. It's serious business.

But that just means I get to listen to awesome shit - which I do all the time already, so I've pretty much got this down.

Double Honesty: Not Quite Double Irony

Yesterday was our monthly (sometimes bi-monthly) wing night. Rather than visit our usual locale, we decided to hit up the Honest Lawyer, based on the fact that their wings are quite tasty and it happens to be extremely close to campus, which works well since I finish at 7PM and everyone usually shows up for around 6PM.

The Honest Lawyer has a buffet style system (after 8PM), with wristbands, for their AYCE (All You Can Eat) wing nights, which isn't a terrible idea. Except when one of your fryers isn't working and you barely have enough wings to satiate 20 people before you have to hold up the line for a solid 15 minutes. Add the fact you get 6 wings per trip and you're in for a long night.

It honestly seems like every time I go to the Honest Lawyer something explodes.

The last time was on my birthday and sewer main burst in the back of the establishment. They effectively prevented anyone from coming in - and anyone who left couldn't come back in. That particular point caused trouble for people who decided to get some air or were just showing up later in the evening - so we promptly GTFO'd.

To sum things up, my AYCE wing night turned into having six chicken wings and an order of perogies. Awesome.

Then of course my friends, who were dipping leisurely into the sauce, decided to start a 'Jayntervention'.

I forget what the actual purpose of the whole idea was, but it involved a number of female patrons rushing a certain sorority, Honesty and general cheesiness.

And how one my friends happens to be very geographically challenged when it comes to determining the distance between the African continent and India.

It's going to be a long week.

RE: The Fulcrum - Bits of Wisdom for University Noobs

Recently I was catching up on University oriented news and decided to turn an eye to the Fulcrum, the University of Ottawa's (English) student newspaper.

I was reading an article entitled Frosh: 40 things I wish I knew in first year by Mercedes Mueller, executive editor for Fulcrum. The list comprises 40 tips, common sense tidbits and less common pieces of information that most students embarking on their first year should keep in mind.

I've given sparing words of wisdom and tips to a few people through my journey at the U of O. I may not be the foremost expert on campus life, socializing or how to land straight A's, but that has never stopped me from providing university noobs with a few things to remember.

So here's my defacto shortlist of things you should know going into your first year:

25. The next four years will go by much faster than you realize - especially the summer months.

24. Fall Finals run until the 22nd of December - plan your vacations accordingly.

23. There is a 90% chance that you will have at least one Final on a Saturday or Sunday night from 7PM to 10PM - it's almost a rule.

22. The teachers pet in your classes will be just as, if not more annoying in four years than she is right now. Be prepared for that.

21. Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one - get used to it.

20. Night lectures can be more practical, informative and will lend more flexibility to your schedule than your standard two per week lectures. Embrace the night.

19. You're paying 500-600$ per class for an average five class semester. Every time you skip class you're wasting money.

18. You will miss a lot more than just a weeks worth of class if you skip a three hour lecture.

17. Do not skip class and expect people to help you or give you answers out of good will. Your fellow classmates, and especially your professors, were not born yesterday.

16. Use your notebook for taking notes, not surfing facebook and playing Starcraft.


15. If you get too easily distracted by Jen's status updates, write your notes by hand.


14. Make sure your notes make sense to you. Copying notes word for word from a PowerPoint slide won't help you when you can't remember what it's supposed to mean.

13. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All play and no work makes Jack an effectively screwed boy. Balance is key.

12. Pay it forward. Common courtesy and respect can go a long way; don't be a prick.

11. You will have to do group work. Suck it up, be nice, do your part and be done with it.

10. If your lab/group partners don't pull their weight, bring proof and complain. It works, trust me.

9. Don't be lazy. This isn't high school and your friends won't carry you through to an A based on the fact that you're a cool dude.

8. A lot of people get easily annoyed by loud heavy metal music. But never turn it down unless they tell you it's bothering them. Ask and you shall receive.

7. Every professor is unique in their quirks, grading methods and teaching ability. Learn to improvise, adapt and overcome.

6. Do not be afraid to speak up or ask a question. Odds are high that you're not the only one.

5. The professors you respect the most will be more likely to give you help and advice, if you need it.

4. Do not wait until the fifth year of your four year program to admit to yourself that you need help.

3. Do not be afraid to use the services at your disposal, the Student Academic Success Service (SASS) can provide you with more help than you think.

2. You will not learn everything by memorizing a book, despite what some of your classes and professors may have you believe.

1. Pace yourself. Make sure you take the time to do things right and to be satisfied by your work.

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I would add more, but most of them would be purely nonsensical and made purely for humors sake, kind of like #8.

In my near 6 years of roaming the halls of OttawaU, not one person has ever asked me to turn down my music - despite many a persons disgruntled face gestures and glaring in my general direction.

Villains: Being Bad Never Felt So Good

Hold the presses, Gamespot is doing another All-Time Greatest [insert subject here] bracket. Uhhhh - right...

The last time they did this it was for the Greatest video game Hero of all time. There were a lot to choose from - some ridiculously obvious, others slightly intriguing. After all, finding 64 'contestants' for a bracket such as this doesn't seem like it would be too hard, but you'd be surprised.

Kefka, FFVI

Too sum things up, the final four consisted of : Mario, Link, Samus Aran and Gordon Freeman. All glaringly obvious choices, especially when you consider the bracket style. However some of the brackets were pretty lop-sided. Throw one of these pairs against each other in the round of 64 and you'd have quite a few gamers pulling their hair out. In the end Gordon Freeman was the winner, beating out Mario by about 20,000 votes.

This time the bracket will be for the Greatest VG Villain of all time. Once again I see many familiar names - only two of the 64 were foreign to me. Some purists would call the result of the hero bracket simply crazy. Which is why I get the feeling that there could be a whole boatload of fanboism to be had in this bracket. Something that could cause some serious fisticuffs and tomfooleries if discussed between certain individuals.

Every other gaming blog or website tends to do a top 10 list of their favorite characters now and again. Usually you'll tend to see many familiar names in between all of these lists. The potential problem I see with something like this is how unfamiliarity breeds a certain sense of ignorance. And I've had this very debate with people before. Ganon or Bowser? Revolver Ocelot or Albert Wesker? It goes on and on.

But on more than one occasion someone undoubtedly names Sephiroth, to which I counter with Kefka. And then, unsurprisingly, someone says:  

"Who the hell is Kefka?"

If you take a gander through the list of characters in the bracket you'll come across some from every genre. But you have to wonder: will the votes some of these characters get coming down to the final rounds really be about the fact that these dudes (and dudettes) are ridiculously badass? Or will it turn into a popularity contest?

Regardless, it all boils down to opinions. And just like assholes, everyone's got one. I have the feeling we'll see at least one renowned Blizzard villain make the final four, but I wouldn't be all that surprised to see all three of them make it to the finals of this bracket. Those of course being Arthas Menethil the Lich King, Diablo the Lord of Terror and Kerrigan the Queen of Blades.

Better question: who are you voting for?

Monkeys Loose in a Banana Factory: TGIF

Summer is usually a more or less slow period over at the office. People take extended vacations, work comes and goes and some days can actually be quite slow.

Today was one of those slow days. It took a breakfast sandwich on pumpernickel and some quality Djent tunes to keep my focus in the early hours - and the afternoon was just as long. 

Nearly all management were either off for the day or on vacation, leaving some people as acting Mangers/Directors of the office for the end of the week. So leave it to Acting Mangers to provide you with the catalyst to what I call: some good old fashioned lulz.

The Acting Manager for my corner of the office came up to me this morning for some idle chatter and provided me with a prime opportunity that I couldn't possibly pass up.

Acting Manager: There's just so much to do today. I need more workers. 

Me: You'll need to construct additional pylons.

*silence*

Acting Manager: What?

Pylons - they're serious business.

TGIF!

Birthdays: Innuendo Extravaganza

So my 100% legitimate actual birthday night out - compared to my unbirthday from March - was this past Friday. All in all it was quite the interesting evening.

The Honest Lawyer is a cool place, except when a sewer main cracks open. While they call in for repairs they decide to not let anyone in, or anyone who may happen to wander out for a smoke, to come back in. Needless to say you can see where this is going. What began there, moved on to the near designated meeting spot: Patty Bolands for the remainder of the evening.

Since I decided to opt out of a specific drink - just because - I found myself with a lineup of shots that were intriguing and quite delicious. Not so surprising however that the few people choosing them happened to pick pretty much every single innuendo laden shot they could pull out of an iPhone app. Maybe someone was trying send me subtle hints - in an extremely unsubtle way.

Probably not, but you really never know.

Nonetheless, good times were had. But the bar was not raised. It seems 2010 will not be able to steal the crown of Epic hilarity from 2009. For that you would need:
- A Cougar
- A best friend, grinding and rocking Devil Horns with said Cougar
- A Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band
- All of your other friends watching and buying more drinks

Maybe next year.

Tuesday: It's Science

725,864,400 seconds. 12,097,740 minutes. 201624 Hours. 8401 days. 1196 weeks. 276 months.

23 years down the tubes and counting.

I don't feel older than yesterday. Or last week, or last month. Six or seven people have already told me that I'm older because today's my birthday.

I told them I'm only older because it's now Tuesday. And I'll be older again Wednesday, because it'll be tomorrow. It's science.

Bruschetta: the Anti-Christ

When a friend comes back from across the pond, there's only one thing that you can and should do - that's go out and have a legendary night.

Location of choice for said box social? Pub Italia on Preston - and it was quite the epic evening. Despite some no shows, excuse givers and late arrivals, fun times were had by all. A wide variety of the worlds beers were consumed and there was even a guest appearance by the Raspberry Ballin', which is an amazing mixed drink - even though the name leaves something to be desired.

All in all the night went off without a hitch - until Bruschetta entered the picture. Oh Bruschetta... you turn me into everything I despise. Now I walk the walk of shame.

And just FYI: If you spend over a year in England, it's fine if you pick up the lingo and still use it when you're back home, you should just expect to have pennies thrown at you. But if you come back and you don't know who Wayne Rooney is - and you lived a stone's throw from Old Trafford, the home of Manchester United - you are a sad, sad individual.